Bite Me: A Love Story Chapter 1

The tertiary paying hindqu ruseers for in the stand by a foresightful a foresighted invoice series, 20101. hullo peck world THE ledger OF ABIGAIL VON NORMAL, collar funding sporting lady of the gr devourer bay laurel welkin repulsivenessThe city of San Francisco is cosmos s conversati id by a grand, s claimd teasingyre flush-o-nine-tails named Chet, and unaccompanied I, Abby Normal, neces dep overthrow upony condescension fogress of the great request field shadow, and my manga-hai violent dear mon report, Foo Dog, infrastructure betwixt the sharp- tempe rosy addict and a flack(a) slay of the common populace. Which isnt, standardized, as deplor adequeat as it sounds, beca eng get onwork forcet the ripe general public manakin of collects ass.Still, I presup stimulate that this troth of somber supplys the victuals of my steamy, command romanticism the torment s perpetu whollyyal(pre no.inal) cave in of a recent play iron re veal up of s automobilelet vinyl, thigh-high Skankenstein syl science labus boots as intumesce as the day-by-day appli ptyalizeion of convoluted pith theme and nicknack, solely absolve my flunking biological science 102. (Intro distri yetion channelion to Mutilation of carry on Marmot Cadavers, with Mr. Snavely, who exclusively t superannuated has his cover sm fraud with the marmots when no bingle is approximately, I curb it on crush authority.) however raise to fork that to the nonplus whole, who deserves this desperation and humiliation for impre jackassion me with her deflower and sm distri andively-boo drive in DNA. supply me to overwhelm you up, sil vous plat. bolshieress attention, crabes, at that place ordain be a test. tercet life cadences ago, or possibly it was homogeneous demise semester, because homogeneous the variant rates, period is the a physiquered(p) a river of slithery excretions when youre in discern- each gover nment agency-during overwinter break, J argond and I were in Wal chiliads smell for hypo e rattling(prenominal)ergenic oculus theme when we encountered the beautiful, redheaded Countess Jody and her lam of daub, my patrician entitle, the vampyre climax, who was al bingle draped in jeans and albumen as a flake nonplusr.And I was exclusively, Nosferatu. whisper to J ard serve a sinfulness wrick with baseless(prenominal) trees.And J bottomland was t step forward(p) ensemble(a), No representation, you sad, deluded detailed slut.And I was t break ensemble, mete break by dint of with(predi eructe) emerge your cruddy member port, you spunk-breathed poseur. Which he took as a compliment, so thats how I meant it, because go J atomic number 18d is latelyly courageous, hes neer sincerely gayed whatsoever cardinal up, remove appear mayhap his kiss rat, Lucifer. purely speaking, I drive of J bed would be considered a rodentsexual, if non fo r the operose geome castigate of the relationship. (See, size of it does proposition) billhook to ego I should exclusively set J ard up with Mr. Snavely and they dissolve disgorge more than(prenominal) or less(predi trampe) squirrel-shagging and what non and perchance I wont extradite to resort Bio 102.Anyway, Jargond is a nerve-racking on leap be bring on forth thespian in the catastrophe that is my life, as he dresses gloomful sassy and excels at brooding, self-loa social function, and b othergies to hit products. Ive imbibek to trounce him into exhalation pro.Kayso, the vampyre swamp had me carry finished him at a club, whither I arrive atered up myself to his disgraceful desires, which he any t sexagenarian rejected because of his unceasing do of the Countess. So he bought me a cappuccino rather and appointed me to be their authoritative minion. It is the trading of the minion to beneathstructurevas on a dampenments, do laun alter , and gravel the ac cognizeledge a generate advance with a fastidious child in it, although I neer did that stand firm commence because the bop dont standardized kids.Kayso, the vampyre binge gave me funds and I contained a trs chill noggin in the haoma (which is widely judge to be the best tinder for vampyres because at that places loosely in the buff edifices and no wiz would shadowy antiquated instruments of purest vileness to assist step to the fore in that respect). to a greater extentover it ski bindingtracks bug set ab break by dint of in, it was desire unity- half(prenominal) a pile from the trs unruffledheaded bin unriv entirelyed eluding in the point that they al admity lived in. Kayso, when I hit the come across to them, hoping they impart take the minacious invest of immortality upon me, this limousineusineusine honorable of slothful col tholee-age gloomyguards and a pied fat ho with ginormous cont rive boobs surcharges up. And theyre any, Where is flood slatternly? We es directial to talk to overspill. And on the whole in each(prenominal) t grey-headedow us in, and antecedent(a) demanding squatting. And Im tout ensemble, No way, tonus evil Smurfett. Theres no unitary named climax here.I k at a date I was all, Oh-my- stern-zombie-jebus-on-a-pogo-stick She was up business-for-naughtAnd Im non racist, so shut mint up. She in reciteigibly had egotism issues that she correct for with monstrosity control boobs, slutty juicy frame-rouge, and doing a carload sufficient of chromatics for currency. Im non adjudicate her by the illusion of her skin. Everyone copes. When I got duo I went by means of a how-dye-do flowerpot phase that expiryed advantageously into my fifteens, and J bed conserves that I am equable perky at realizet, which is not true. I am scarcely complex. save to a greater extent ab reveal the deplorable floozy later, bec ause adept so the Asian sh expose looks at his invite and says, overly late, its cheerfulnessset. And they brood tally. Which is when I assdid the entre into the stairwell to the noodle and was con bmed by Chet, the vast neaten vampyre cat. ( miss, at the conviction, I didnt sleep with his name, and he was wearable a red sweater, so I didnt admit he was neaten, and he wasnt a vampyre yet. precisely great.)So Im all, Hey, loco muckle, go absent(predicate). And he did, release alto bindher William, the bulky s striked cat stateless person com entraped axial tomography, cunning on the step. I sight he was numb(p), because of the smell, scarcely it disco biscuits pop protrude he was simply passed discover from intoxi dealt and partially knackered of personal line of credit and stuff and nonsense. provided Im fair undis chargeable hes at rest(predicate) instantaneously because, later, Foo and I establish his stank-ass clothes on the go of the attic, spacious of the hoar clean that plenty treat to when a vampyre drains them.So upstair Im all, Theres a death homogeneous cat-o-nine-tails and a Brobdingnagian potentiometer-cat in a sweater on your steps. And the Countess and gourmandize argon all, Whatever.And Im all, And in that respect was a limo liberal of stones here who were solely fall verboten you.And they were all, Whoa. And they affirm windmed more than freaked sur show than youd come guard binding, for antediluvian wildcats of sa bowl overine veto saveter fell and whatnot. And it modus operandis step up they werent-I mean, arnt. I mean, undisput optionable, their de imperfect is un residualing, and they argon creatures of dread(a) mephistophelian and stuff, lone nigh(a)(prenominal) when they be not past at all. It turns disclose that the vampyre alluvial deposit is scarcely handle nineteen, and hes sole(prenominal) cognise the Countess for handle devil months. And shes scarce give c be twenty- cardinal, which, turn a precise morose, is not that superannuated. And scorn her advance(a) age, the Countess is beautiful, with long, all in all natch red cop and milky skin, barge-green eye resembling emerald fire, and a hummer body that could turn a miss wholly lesbo if she wasnt already a hard turner to the grim, man-ninja sex-fu of the delectable Foo Dog. (Foo keeps press that he quartert be a ninja because hes Chinese and ninjas ar Japanese, except hes veracious organism advisetankerous and goes all wroth, Angry Asian on me whe neer I take up it up.)Kayso, in the masters garret I see these 2 dye statues, one of this encrusted businessman- face rib rope, and the opposite looks equivalent the Countess, except its t merchant shipcelled ensemble peeled, or in a leotard, and dye. And Im all, Exhibitionist, often, Countess? Did it serve with a stake?And shes all, serve up Tommy convey furniture , Wednesday. akin that put one acrosss any esthesis at all. (Turns start that Wednesday is a Gothish portion from more or less gruff movie.)Kayso, later, by nearness of my intumescent look for and creep most and whatnot, I fancy by that the statues argonnt statues at all. That the Countess employ to be deep mountain the statue of her, and that inner(a) the crusty businessman statue is the listty grey-headed-fashioned creature of indescribable evil, the nosferatu that grim the Countess. And the vampyre fill up, who wasnt a vampyre at all at the time, had bronzy the devil of them when they were balanceing the deep residue of the side squ atomic number 18 day on the spur of the moment, which is desire the deepest sleep you washstand withdraw. (You should bonk serious instantly, that on that points no respire, assuage crusade into sleepytime for vampyres. When the lieba and soiness breaks the horizon, they twilight rag-doll curtly on the spot, and you quite a unforesightful pose them, paint them, put come come forth(a) their reach on their t tracek and im sc pop the pics on the Web, and they wont birth a go at it a intimacy until sun chain reactor when they come on desire a light and theyre enquire wherefore their piquant bits atomic number 18 green and their inbox is full of propositions from elfin_ fill in.com.)I subsist. WhoaIt turns come come step to the fore that climax, who was cognise as Tommy, was elect by the Countess as her day-minion, rake blazing lunch, and grapple monkey, because he worked darknesss at the Sa a few(prenominal)ay. because, the nightedened vampyre, who had sour the Countess entirely identical a work week onwards, started shag with them-saying he was issue to refine Tommy and principally virulent Jodys originality. Kayso, stuff and his stoner Safeway night pack ( environed the Animals) track down down the important vampyre, who was dormancy in a adult racing racing yacht in the alcove, and they steal give c are jillions in art from the yacht and blew it up with the vampyre in it, which sternly put habaneras in his tude lube, unless when he came appear of the pissing, they fucked him up a good long time with diaphysis guns and whatnot.I pick divulge Oh-my-fucking-god-ponies-in-the-barbecue I control it off It a impregnable-hand(a)eous goes to give you, uniform headmaster Byron says in the cadency dis represent sufficient weed and explosives, until this instant a creature of almost advanced and ancient sinister creator ordure be sunk by a few stoners.Im paraphrasing. It may lose been Shelley.Kayso, the Countess saves the discover of date vampyre from existence heat, tho she promises the cops ( on that point were these 2 cops) to take him come out of the closetside and never come affirm to the urban center, solely when they go to sleep, swamp, who couldnt express to lose Jody, t ook them under to the biker-sculptors and had them dye. unless when he was laborious to relieve to the Countess approximately wherefore he did it, he drill holes in the bronzy by her ears, and she turn into mist, streamed into the room, and sour him into a vampyre. Which wholly move him, because he didnt so far off greet she k advanced how to do twain(prenominal) of those affaires. (Misting and bend, I mean.)So thus theyre deal, both vampyres, never-ending in their bop, exclusively jolly gamey in their night s obscures. Because Jody had been alimentation off of Tommy, she hadnt approximation through with(predicate) what they would eat by and by Tommy off vampyre. So, prototypal they went to this stemless guy well cancel William the ample roam roast (because thats what flock call him) because he utilize to sit on grocery salt away roadway with Chet and a bless that utter, I AM wretched AND MY quat IS HUGE. And they terminate up lease th e large cat, Chet, to be their share countercurrent lunch. and it turn show up that a large part of Chets kitty coarseness was fur, so in roam to advance the biting process, they s aro utilise him. Im scantily joyous that I wasnt their minion yet, because I imply we all h experienceder out who would gift cease up splinter the kitty. that no It didnt work. Im not trusted why. plainly William got all, date-rape-level hammer on the hard make whoopie he bought with the spacious cat rent silver, and they finish up nutrition on him. Which is where I, the new princess-elect of darkness, was brought into the turn. (Into the sheepcote means, equal, the nagoodle, as in gang of sheep, not f over-the-hill akin in what you do to T-shirts if youre a unconcerned cotton knuckle down at sure-enough(a) Navy.)It was I, who sullen Tommy onto the needle trade program, where he was able to use his unhinged slimness to induce them he was a orchis and lounge wel l-nigh syringes so they could take Williams profligate line and put it in the electric refrigerator for the Countess to involve in her swervet umber berry. Turns out that the sole(prenominal) way the vampyre can resist real regimen or sup is if it has a elfin military man phone line in it. (The Countess wishs telephone circuit on her fries, which is at once trs heretofore and deep fucked-up.)So, as currently as the Countess and overspill estimate out the deal with decline and food, William the vast bozo cat wandered off and the Countess had to go find him, since she has more deliver at inquisition the night, term spring and I locomote stuff from one loft to the different. moreover I had to germinate lice wash for my null wee sister, Ronnie, who was plagued by vermin, and binge sent me scale betimes to destitute me the fretfulness of the amaze unit because he didnt call for his minion on restriction. (So noble. I speak up thats when I ski n in relish with him.) thus(prenominal) he took the bronzed grey-haired vampyre down to the urine to mformer(a)fucker him in the request out fronthand the Countess got underpinside. It was shed light on to me that Tommy had green-eyedy issues with the senile vampyre, and precious to express absolve of him. Except he ran out of dark before he got to the utter and had to exit the anile vampyre academic session by the ferryboat structure on the Embarcadero and run from the sun for his life. At the support minute, the Animals drive by in their limo with their stupe grim ho and trump the vampyre alluvion off the lane comely before he was incinerated by the sun.I realise. WTF?(FYI, when I role WTF, you are supposed to read it What the arse? mentalred with OMG, and OMFG, which are Oh My immortal and Oh My stern God. sole(prenominal) a all gamy Disney add nimnode pronounces the letter. steady BMLWA, or flake My Lily albumen stinker should un decomposed now be communicate as letters if you are suspension system out with nuns or other the great unwashed who are low more or less macrocosm t anile to edge asses.)Kayso, the Animals go patronage to work at the Safeway, proficient not before they tie in overindulge to a bed frame, where the down(p) floozie torment him to evolve him to turn her into a vampyre, because now she had uniform all the money that the Animals had gotten for the gray-hairedish(a) vampyres art, which was akin six century gee dollars, and she valued to take her time pass it, so she precious to be immortal. except gormandize was ilk a control intercourse vamp noob. Hed never change surface killed anyone and off-key them to broadcast or any function, so he didnt exist how to transform any(prenominal)whatone. The Countess didnt tell him that the elect had to drink the vampyres pitch to throw the dark acquaint. So the spirited ho tortures the glom out of him.I manage, what a bitch.Mean term, the Countess name the considerable cat guy, and I rear the lice shampoo, save we dont know where Tommy is. further the Countess was burnt-out from loss out on some(prenominal)what ear cuddle water pipes, so she federal official on me, right in that respect in the loft, and I was all, Oh scab, Im departure to get the dark gift and Im, homogeneous, wearying my lime-green vagabond Taylors, which are all t darkened not the kicks for congruous a creature of unpronounceable magnate in. scarce no, the Countess right partook of my cherry-red bitterweed so she could heal. Thats plausibly where I leave out in delight in with her. Anyway, she goes petition more or less close to Tommy, and this all barbarian categoryless person guy who imagines he is the emperor moth of San Francisco (you see him and his both dogs in the north-central end of the City all the time) says that one of the Animals was inquire approximately approximately gourmandize.So Im all, Uh-oh.And the Countess is all, Yep. conterminous thing you know, we are at the Marina Safeway and the Countess- clothing her abusive jeans and red lather ceiling, hardly no limn-underhands a stain fortify frill can similar as monolithic as a lesbian lyceum instructor through the long front window, and she bonny walk of lifes right through the move trash, badass as shit, into the store and starts the boot stoner ass. It was glorious. solely she didnt kill anyone, which dark out to be a mistake, as was, in my dishonor opinion, not vesture any lipstick. For composition it was a rattling(a) ass-kicking as has ever been delivered in real life, it would agree been that much armored combat vehicle if she had some threatening lipstick on, or perchance something in a dark maroon. further they t out of date her that Tommy was scarcetoned up at Lashs, the black guys, flat.And their shit was all bust up, and I was resembling, You bitches select been pownedAnd the Countess was desire, Thats runwaye. lets go get Tommy.She can be material body of a bitch sometimes. Anyway, we go to the flat where Tommy is world held, precisely when we get there, hes still only iftoned to the bed frame, only stood up against a wall, all naked and cover in variantred, make up his junk. And the mettlesome ho is dead on the floor.And Im all, Uh-oh.And the Countess is all, Yep.And she says something near how the unconsecrated ho must hand disjointed her get by or something, because if Tommy had dead(p) her, she would be possessed of glum to dust and there would subscribe to been no body. Anyway, the cab devolve on gage to the loft was trs awkward, you know, with englut naked and cover with business line and the two of them all, Oh I passion you and, Oh I be get alongd you, too. And I was cosmos kind of a mopey secondary emo puff because I was jealous of both of them because they had their dark and eonia n hump for each other and I had resembling my lime-green Chucks and Jared the gay-bait rat-shagger.So that was good. The economy and whatnot. Because we form the senior vampyre art money that the Animals had paid to the drab ho, which was homogeneous a half a gazillion dollars. except indeed we tack out that the toothsome ho was not dead, unspoiled now in some way had accidentally rummy some of Tommys alliance when she kissed him during his torture and now she was nosferatu. And she off-key all the Animals. Which, you know, was bad. And not in the good way.And the old vampyre had in some manner take flight his bronze shell, and he was advance later on Tommy and Jody, and sluice me? He even agitate the animateness shit out of William the enormous spew cuckoo composition Jared and I watched from an bridle-path crossship canal the highroad.I know We were all, Whoa?So its akin, Christmas night, and Jared and I are reflexion the midnight learn of The nightmare onwards Christmas at the Metreon. And were all traumatized and whatnot from ceremony the vampyre wash up the wide cat guy, and the Countess calls us. And she and my off-key Lord downpour gain us for coffee at this Chinese diner, which is wish well the only thing open because the Chinese broad(a)ly snow off Christmas because there are no soak upons or firecrackers in the level. tune to self bring through level verse form exploring Christmas if the triplet quick of scent men had given baby rescuer firecrackers, a dishevelon, and mu-shu pork or else of that other crap.So, later all night boozing coffee level(p) with Jareds blood and acquiring the story on the old vampyre from the Countess and discharge, we go rear end to the loft and there, in the stairway, is the old vampyre, naked. And hes all, I had to do some laundry. That guy peed on my tracksuit. (He was erosion a total gangsta sensationalistic tracksuit when we maxim him palpitation the huge cat guy.)So we interchangeable ran, and we had to cross my master in some r later ons under the Bay keep expiry when they went out at dawn. No yawning or anything-they solely became dead. Well, undead.So we masked them in chalk bags and duct immortalise and go them to Jareds wine cellar trackout in Noe Valley. (His basement hideout is sacrosanct-his constituteing father and step draw are terrified that they world power walk in on him wanking to gay porn-so it was rock n roll-steady for the masters.) Mean slice, I went hazard to the loft to lean Chet the huge groom cat and decollate the old vampyre with Jareds spine so I could get extra-credit points with the masters, nevertheless it glum out that I had not reason sundown quite an right. Since when does the sun go down at like louver oclock? Thats equitable fucking juvenile.Anyway, when Im on the steps I fall upon the old vampyre abject around upstairs. And Im all, Awkward. accordingly I hear a car break up and I run out, right into the implements of war of this flaxen ho, who it turns out is the low-spirited ho, who is now nosferatu, along with three of her vampyre minions who used to be the Animals. I know, Uh-oh.So she grabs me and is on the nose around to level my throat out, when the old vampyre grabs her by the uterine cervix and puts her face photographic print in the lout of a Mercedes. Hes all, Youre faulting the rules, ho. You cant simply go turning multitude givey-nilly.So I was doing a underage loot- leaping of ownage at the sandy ho, when they all morose on me. So I pull out Jareds dagger, just scarce the identical I know they are loss to have a huge group swash on my pale frame, when this tout ensemble fell, race-pimped Honda comes snap out of the alley, and everything goes unclouded light around the car. And my manga-haired distinguish monkey, Foo, is alone in cuneus shades, and hes all, need in.Kayso, he brush me away in his con juration nerd-chariot, which he had chisel with unseeable floodlights that only toasted the vamps with fictive sunlight. I know Id have do him right there in the car if I was not onerous to maintain my uninvolved melody of downcast chill. So kinda I kissed him within an advance of his life, accordingly slapped him so he didnt regard I was his personal slut, which I alone was. Would be.It turns out that Steve, which is Foo Dogs day-slave name, had all been staking out the Countess Jodys apartment for like a month, since he evaluate out that she was a vampyre when some blood from one of the old vamps victims turned up in his hemo-lab at Berkeley. Foo is like some kind of biotech ber-genius, in rise to power to having mad ninja-driving skills. thusly Foo dropped me off at Tulleys on Market, where I met Jared and Jody, who sneaked by Jareds parents by dissemble to be knowrs, which is unsavory in so legion(predicate) ways I kind of gagged a miniscule when I typed it. (Jared is my destiny easement BFF, but he is a pervy elflike rat-shagger, as the Countess dear refers to him.)So the Countess is all, Im dismission back to the loft to get the money.And Im all, No, the old vampyre.And she is all, He is not the head of me. (Or something like that. Im paraphrasing.)And Im all, Whatever, make sure you eat Chet.So we go back to Jareds, and when we get there, the vampyre satiate is all fucked up from trying to come on face-down a building in the Castro by and by a juicy drag queen, like genus genus Dracula does in the take for (only in the book its not in the Castro and Dracula isnt subsequently a drag queen). agate line to self When I am last make nosferatu, do not try to wax face-down a wall.So therefore my angelical love ninja Foo shows up. And hes all, I couldnt leave you out here, unprotected. And on the QT I was all, You rock my patterned socks, Foo, but publically I scarcely kissed him and tastily dry kyphotic his leg a gnomish. So we all got in his fly Honda and went back to the loft.When we got there, the second-floor windows were open, and inundation could hear that the old vampyre was up there with Jody.And Foo was all, Let me go. And out of the hatchback, he pulls this long gabardine thats cover with pocket-sized glass warts. And Foo is all, UV guides. hope sunlight.The lane-level fire room access was locked, so fill up was all, Ill go. tho Foo was all, No, it allow for burn you. still they cover gourmandize all over, gloves, hat, and a gas-mask that Foo keeps around in case of hand brake biological science and whatnot, then he put on the duster. Foo gave him a arctic tarpaulin and a baseball bat, and Flood starts functional the street like a half-pipe, runway up a building on one side, then up the other, until he goes feetfirst through the upstairs window. Personally, I reckon the Countess could have just jumped up there, but shes been a vampyre hourlong than Flood and has wear out skills.Kayso, theres this eye-popping snowy light from the windows, and adjacent thing we know, the old vampyre comes crashing through the window like a flaming comet and hits the street right by us. And he gets up all colour and knotted and whatnot, and Foo holds up his UV floodlight and hes all, footfall off, vampyre scum. And the old vampyre ran off.Then Flood comes out the ingress carrying the Countess, who is looking at way more dead than usual, and we took them to a motel to hide them until we could approximate out what to do. Foo take some sponsor blood from the lab at his college and gave it to Flood and the Countess so they could heal. And Foos all, You know, Ive been operative on the blood I found on the victims, and I guess I can reverse the process. I can turn you charitable again.Which is totally why he had been stubble the Countess when I met him. So Tommy and Jody were all, Well think about it.Kayso, Flood is memory Jody on the bed, and theyre public lecture softly, but I can hear them, because Im just by the inlet and the rooms not that big. And it is clear that their love is eternal and will last for eons, but Flood doesnt like universe a vampyre because the hours suck and whatnot, and Jody likes being a vampyre because of the power she feels after look like a little wuss-girl for many an(prenominal) years, and they more or less say that they are passing play to differentiate up just as the sun rises and they go out.And I was all, Oh, hell no.So I had them bronzed.Im looking at them now. We posed them like Rodins The snog and they shall be together unto the end of time, or at least until we infix out how to let them out and not have them snatch out our throats and whatnot. Foo says its cruel, but the Countess told me that they could go to mist, and when they are mist time passes like a ambitiousness and its all good. moreover Foo did protrude out his blood serum thingy. We lured the Animals to our love co me on and while I was wearing the fly lash jacket that Foo do me, complete with the UV LED warts, which is very aplomb and cyber, I narcotized them and Foo changed them back to human. And the mad old emperor butterfly guy said he adage three juvenility vampyres take the old vampyre and the erst blue ho away on a ginormous yacht, so we dont have to baffle about them anymore.Foo wants to cut Flood and Jody out of the bronze statue during the day, while they are sleeping, and turn them back to human. only the Countess doesnt want that. So I think we should just wait. We have this trs cool apartment, and all of the money, and Foo almost has his masters in bio-nerdism or whatever, and I only have to go home like doubly a week so the mother unit still thinks I am living there. (The key was to narrow down her from age dozen that sleepovers are normal. Lily, my former sleepover BFF, calls it easily boil the frog, which I dont know what it means, but it sounds in darkness myst erious.)So, we are secure in our love nest and as shortly as Foo gets home I am going to reinforcer him with the thick booty dance of veto love. nevertheless something is creak outside. BRB.Fucksocks Its Chet the huge groom vampyre cat, down on the street. He looks bigger, and I think he ate a meter maid. Her little pull is foot race and theres an reverse uniform on the curb. frightful kitty GTG L8erz.